SJB

Facing the San Juanico Bridge, the Anibong Shell Depot where my Perimeter Fence Construction Project is located. San Juanico Bridge is part of the Pan-Philippine Highway and stretches from Samar to Leyte across the San Juanico Strait in the Philippines. Its longest length is a steel girder viaduct built on reinforced concrete piers, and its main span is of an arch-shaped truss design. With a total length of 2.16 kilometers, it is the longest bridge in the Philippines spanning a body of seawater.The bridge was heavily damaged by Typhoon Haiyan in November 2013 but repaired.

The San Juanico Bridge, view from Samar, towards Leyte
Other name(s)	Marcos Bridge
Carries	2 lanes of vehicular traffic; pedestrian sidewalks
Crosses	San Juanico Strait
Locale	Santa Rita, Samar and Tacloban, Leyte
Maintained by	Department of Public Works and Highways
Design	Arch-shaped truss bridge
Total length	2,200 m (7,200 ft)
Height	41 m (135 ft)
Longest span	137 m (449 ft)
Constructed by	Philippine National Construction Corporation
Construction begin	1969
Construction end	1973
Construction cost	US$ 21.9 million
Coordinates	11°18′10″N 124°58′19″E

 

The Perimeter Fence that enclosed Shell fuel products and its facilities  were totally crushed down during Haiyan Typhoon. This body of water in front of me was the same water that broke the old P-Fence of Shell Depot into pieces and neighboring residences last year 8th day of November 2013 when a strong typhoon Haiyan "Yolanda" hit this little Baranggay 70, Rawis Anibong of Tacloban City. People lost their homes and loved ones.

 

 

 

 

It's been five (5) months already since the first time I stepped on this place to attend the pre-bidding for the construction of perimeter fence and spent sleepless nights to finish my quotation and be competitive on my final proposed cost way back early this year. I did all my best with prayers to win the bid and won. Before participating any bids, the company prepared me and was sent to a series of training and acquire the  needed code names/profession in the field of petroleum industry and somehow could serve Shell company globally. Just this January of 2014 I got my certification as Accredited Safety Officer and just I started the project I got the highest profession Accredited Project Supervisor. Last June 2014 I also took the training and exam and got the highest score, we were just three(3) who passed out of fifty (50) participants for QA/QC and aim to take the interview to achieve the code name as Accredited QA/QC officer and for minor I am also a certified Scaffolder and Tank Cleaner.

A contractor of Shell could not be given any project without the following key personnel:

1. Accredited Safety Officer
2. Accredited Project Supervisor
3. Accredited QA/QC
4. Accredited Scaffolder
5. Accredited Electrician
6. Accredited welders and
7. Accredited Tank Cleaners

I admit and thankful that if it were not because of you, these names in my head were just nothing, But for clarification, this not mean that this permit you to treat me the way you do. Let me remind you that you are just an instrument to educate me on your way to millions. I don't deserved those malicious words against me for every conversation you have with the principals. They told me and I heard it loud. Why is it impossible for you to accept that I am standing to where I am now not because of your bucks but it's because that I work hard enough. It hurts though, I still have my commitment to my project - Lucky You.

Anibong Tacloban taught me many things even changed me. I discovered things...found things.
Mysteries behind this P-Fence project brought an end and to a beginning. Tacloban people were not as I thought they were. They welcomed me and embraced me as if nothing happened. They are my friends. They are good. You know, it really feels great that I was able to helped a friend here who experienced the darkest moment in his life during Haiyan. He lost his home and his wife. His place is just approximately 5 meters away from the two giant ships that landed caused by the storm surge. I was able to impart my skills with the help of my men who voluntarily helped my friend (Kuya lan2x) build his new house as he moved on, recovered and somehow could get his home back.

Along with these people who tried to live their new life is mine to live the most precious page in my new established story. Thank you Taclobanons. You did a great job by standing still and get through those unlikely events and served as an inspiration to many in your own little ways.

              PSPC ANIBONG PERIMTER FENCE SEASIDE AFTER

PSPC ANIBONG P-FENCE BEFORE

Yes I Found You

As you sat there alone on the four corner of the Temfacil here in Anibong Depot at exactly 4:00 'o clock in the afternoon with your PPE, laptop, camera, phone, logbook and a pen on top of your table, blankly stared the rough finish controversial firewall, came from nowhere, those words from the very first poem you wrote way back in year 2000 flashed before me. When I look up the firewall that you've been staring at for a while, different figures formed out of the rough plastered cement was shown.

Mask...mask...mask...a deep breath that you have just released out of different stories played in your head. Mask...mask...mask. I can't believe it, you've grown just like the way you behave in the dark and now shieldless exposing ones own uniqueness. Those different forms remind me of all the stories behind those hidden smiles and joyfullness of your heart everytime you passed them by and smell their perfume. The private conversation between your heart and mind, those laughter, anger, insecurities and jealousy you've spent to yourself while groping in the dark. So, where are those masks now that you've been wearing for years?

" I left them miles away from here two (2) years ago. I went away to find the real true one to get answers to your queries and somehow live the world you want me to be. But I'm sorry, it never happens. What I did, I tore all my shields, told people who were with me and accepted the reality and the truth about myself. So, I gained confidence, don't care of the people who'll try to step and bring me down. Again, apologies for all disappointments, I can't help it, really. Because this is me and this is what i want."

If that would be the case, then I'll pray for your happiness. Be yourself is the best thing you can do and then be good.

YEARNING

07 June 2000


As I walk along the way,
Tracing the paths of unknown points
To where my life is going to be...

I found myself lonely and needy,
I looked at any angels of destiny
Searching reasons and solutions
For this uncertain  mystery.

Then I discover the difference
Being alone is a hard task
To accomplish one's mission  of life...
I got a wise and definite answer,
I must have somebody
Someone who can I turn to
To share achievements in life.

DAYDREAM

07 June 2000

I saw him very manly,
In a manner so gently.
He moved so naturally
And stared at me steadily.

We hold hands so tightly
Expressing love sincerely
We felt our heart beat that fast
So happily and endlessly.

He told me repeatedly
That I am so lovely
Whom he loves very truly.

I only smiled sweetly,
Showing my inside openly
That I love  him also deeply.

I looked at him teasingly,
As he touched  my hair tenderly
Which then swayed cheerfully.

I was so happy and so gay,
To that moment sparingly,
But then unknowingly
All turn out mystically

I wondered innocently
Why you've gone so suddenly
I looked around carefully
Finding your presence lively.

And I found out actually,
I was just alone and lonely
Sitting by the window permanently
With eyes staring so far away.

Then I discovered completely
I was just playing solely
In my thoughts foolishly
That all existed fancily
And borne out to be fantasy.

I know I was crazy
Yet I felt very sadly
For I was just dreaming that day.

Those Happy Moments

07 June 2000

The sparkle of your eyes when you smile,

The tender touch of caring hands,

The sweet kisses from your warm lips,

Those laughter we've made when the

        sand castles we've built were

        washed away, not knowing it 

        would mean a broken heart.

Yes, we build a dream,

You're the king and I'm the queen.

But dream is just a dream,

It was lost when I woke up.

Now, I'm compared to an island,

So lonely since you've gone.

Why did you left me alone?

Where are those promises you made?

Don't you know the sleepless nights,

I've spent just thinking of you?

I've even again and again wondered,

Why you've done to me such cruel.

Don't you know how you broke my heart?

Oh! it hurt so much that makes me beg for death to end.

But I could never hate you, and

Neither will I revenge, and

I can't help but weep and suffer for

Tears can't hide and memories lingers on.

I am thinking for your comfort dear,

Please come back to me, I'm waiting.

Heal this wounded heart and bring back those 

Happy moments we've shared.

God And Finding Your True Soulmate

22 April 2000

For special people searching for that unique person in their life. It hurts to love someone and not to be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how exactly you feel.

Maybe, God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion and the romance in a relationship and find out you still care for that person. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you,  only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be. and you just have to let go. When the door of happiness closes, another opens. but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. Giving someone all your love is not an assurance that they'll love you back. Don't expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their heart, but if it doesn't be content it grew in yours.

There are things you'd love to hear that you would never hear from the person that you would like to hear them from, but don't be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from his heart. Never say goodbye if you still want to try- never give up if you still feel you can go on - never say you don't love a person if you can't let go. Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed, to those who still believe, although they've been betrayed, to those who still need to love, although they've been hurt before, and those who have courage and faith to build trust again.

Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, title or position, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Dream what you want to dream. Be what you want to be because you only have one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the most of everything that comes along their way. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. One day when you are not looking...GOD WILL PRESENT TO YOU YOUR TRUE SOULMATE...

TODAY

21 April 2000

In just a blink...
I made mistake stupidly.
And in just a blink...
I lost you unreasonably.

What I've done?...my God.
My self went shock, as in shock.
How could I've been mad
To the one I love.

And there I was, like a fool.
Thinking how to make you cool.
Scream here, scream there.
I couldn't help, you still at stare.

I thought those dooms would never leave.
As I pray for that night to fade away.
For it caused so much pain and trouble on me.
As I ask for an apology.

Whew!...Wow! What a relief!
Of forgiving a fool like me.
Thanks to you
For teaching me how to be me.

And now I'm confident to tell anybody.
That I'm living today, not yesterday,
        not tomorrow but today.
And I'm so lucky
To have you as my buddy.

Now that we're okay
I'm confident to say
My chum will always be my chum,
Till the end of time.

Me

21 April 2000

Here I am again,
Wearing the same mask,
Denying the anger, fear...
What a good actress?

Still shamming as if...
That I'm still okay.
Smiling in front
But screaming behind.

And now there you are
Want me to reach
But how can I?
If I have still this.

Is it enough to cry
Just to express myself?
Is it enough to lough
For me to be safe?

My friend, can you still identify me?
The real me from that mask
After all that I've revealed.
No, you'll never, never...ever.

MIRRORS

(Guidance 2 - October 2002 with 1.2 grade)

From a Sister

She is great and for all the good traits she had, undeniably, the members of our family appreciate her so much. But for me, there is no other traits can fill to complete her existence except for her being kind.

Yet, being good and kind-hearted person will not be appreciated without her alter ego. I observed that she is quite moody and ill-tempered sometimes which makes me feel so irritated.

From Friends

Good companion, good friend, she is a good adviser in different situations. True friend and can be trusted.

She don't talk about what she feels, think on some situations and about some things that bothers her. Sometimes, too frank that could make some people offended.

From a Loved One

Just a point of clarification before I start, I have nothing to do with any romantic involvement with the addressee. I'm just actually a mere friend of hers - one of her closest friends, that is. Well, to me, She's no longer a common friend that comes and goes through the years. She's always been a good companion (everywhere), a listener, a hand when I'm in need and of course, my reflector - who critics and evaluates my damn self.

She has lessen her being "loud-mouth" about anything, but there are some instances that she tends to lose her tact - and again hit others. She also has that irritating attitude wherein she gladly opens a conversation,, bring something up and say a word or two about it and when you ask what was she talking about , She'll just give you a shrug and a dismissing look that tells you to just back-off and forget anything, infuriating, right?

REACTIONS from the addressee

For a Sister

I'm not used to hear any critics or evaluation from my family. We're not that good in expressing inner emotions to each one of us. But since I asked it, so my younger sister tried to have something, jot here in my notes. I'm quite glad to hear some appreciation from her. At first glance, on what she have written, something deep inside softly stabbed my feelings. My gosh!, it touched my heart. On the other hand, upon reading the unpleasant feedback, I'm no longer surprised about those bad stuffs since I consider her as my enemy at home. Don't think that I don't love her - I love her very much. If I could just dare to express my feelings to her, I would tell her How am I thankful and glad for having her as my sister.

For Friends

I'm not anymore surprised of how they appreciate me. I admit I'm that good as a friend, companion and as an adviser to their woe's and predicaments. On the contrary, I also admit being frank and silent or perhaps unfair in the sense that they shared more  and I shared less. But it doesn't mean that I don't trust them at all. It's just that I'm still shy, I'm ashamed to let them know about what I truly feel deep, deep down inside me regarding a certain person or a thing. All through this time I've been trying to lessen this bad habit but still I could hear feedback's about that damned attitude. But inside myself, I know I did something and I think  I've lessen it if not totally but at least.

For a Loved One

Since I'm not in a relationship, so i chose a friend (closest), one who knows almost everything about me to give feedback as my loved one. We'll I guess her evaluation and my expectation met. It is exactly I whom she described of being a good kind of friend to her. On the unpleasant side, Oh man!..She hits the bulls eye. Huh,..It hurts...But still I appreciate her of being honest, She really knows me inside out.

THE RAVEN by Edgar Allan Poe (published 1845)

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary, 
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore, 
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, 
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. 
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door- 
                Only this, and nothing more." 

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December, 
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. 
Eagerly I wished the morrow;- vainly I had sought to borrow 
From my books surcease of sorrow- sorrow for the lost Lenore- 
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore- 
                Nameless here for evermore. 

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain 
Thrilled me- filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before; 
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating, 
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door- 
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;- 
                This it is, and nothing more." 

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer, 
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore; 
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping, 
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door, 
That I scarce was sure I heard you"- here I opened wide the door;- 
                Darkness there, and nothing more. 

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, 
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before; 
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token, 
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore?" 
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!"- 
                Merely this, and nothing more. 

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning, 
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before. 
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice: 
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore- 
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;- 
                'Tis the wind and nothing more!" 

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter, 
In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore; 
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he; 
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door- 
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door- 
                Perched, and sat, and nothing more. 

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling, 
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore. 
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no craven, 
Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore- 
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!" 
                Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." 

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly, 
Though its answer little meaning- little relevancy bore; 
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being 
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door- 
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door, 
                With such name as "Nevermore." 

But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only 
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. 
Nothing further then he uttered- not a feather then he fluttered- 
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "Other friends have flown before- 
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before." 
                Then the bird said, "Nevermore." 

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken, 
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store, 
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster 
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore- 
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore 
                Of 'Never- nevermore'." 

But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling, 
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door; 
Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking 
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore- 
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore 
                Meant in croaking "Nevermore." 

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing 
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core; 
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining 
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er, 
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er, 
                She shall press, ah, nevermore! 

Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer 
Swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor. 
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee- by these angels he hath sent thee 
Respite- respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore! 
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!" 
                Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." 

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! - 
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore, 
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted- 
On this home by Horror haunted- tell me truly, I implore- 
Is there- is there balm in Gilead?- tell me- tell me, I implore!" 
                Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." 

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! 
By that Heaven that bends above us- by that God we both adore- 
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn, 
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore- 
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore." 
                Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." 

"Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend," I shrieked, upstarting- 
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore! 
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! 
Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the bust above my door! 
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!" 
                Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore." 

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting 
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door; 
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming, 
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; 
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor 
                Shall be lifted- nevermore! 




[This version of the poem is from the Richmond Semi-Weekly Examiner, September 25, 1849. It is generally accepted as the final version authorized by Poe. Earlier and later versions had some minor differences. Source]



  

Diocelan buenconsejo

from Cebu City Philippines

"I'm not really into literature but when I read one of Poe's short stories I felt awe... It's really strange and scary... That short story is The Raven."

signed 2009.06.20 5:19pm